It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
