You're my little dorito
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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