Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize