I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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