I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this boner is exhausting
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
