I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
