Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
