I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
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There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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