you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
