she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
