you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
