IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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