I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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