I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
