Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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