if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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