you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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