His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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