this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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