so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
nutella sex= disaster
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
