On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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