38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Boobs are out for the taking
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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