what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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