How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
