there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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