I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize