well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
