he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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