well most of my day revolves around power hour
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
