She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
