So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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