Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
