well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
