Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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