and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize