Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize