My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
