I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
