stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize