how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
