Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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