I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize