I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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