He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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