I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He did a backflip because drugs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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