Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
