Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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