Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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