Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
