The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am puke
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
