He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
