forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize