And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
