it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
