Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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