Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize