Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
