i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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