i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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