OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
