did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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