Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
