god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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