I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
