You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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