And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
