I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
