Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
