I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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