oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
