If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You can't motorboat a personality
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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