She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's rum buckets o'clock
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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