man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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