Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How does one acquire holy water?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
