Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
